Things are moving very slowly . The physio has told me that if they can get my mums pain under control they can move her a bit more. Willy my brother has been going to visit her on a daily basis, thank goodness .It is not easy when you live far away. You can't just pop along .
I think the hospital want to get mum home , but , there is no way this is happening if she's not able to be safe. My wee mum didn't live all these years just to be dumped on the scrap heap by a bunch of people who were "just doing their job". Imagine the kind of society where people are no longer cared for because they are to old . Have you ever imagined anything so distasteful. Its no better than leaving a small child to fend for itself . My mum is now sat in a chair , in a hospital ward , wondering if she will ever have her own space ever again. I find the whole thing quite depressing , all of lives struggles and pain and disappointments and achievements , what are they for.....
Thursday, 8 February 2018
Monday, 5 February 2018
Dementia and my mum.....Hospital days turning into weeks..
It seems like a long time ago since I phoned the Drs for my mum , she's been on a rollercoaster of a journey , everything moves at a new pace. The physio are a marvellous group people ,encouraging my mum at every step and urging her to be brave . They have to gauge her mobility in what they hear or are told , they do take her to the gym and walk around with her , but , at home people are different , more inclined to do what they want , take risks .
I really do have my mums best interest at the heart of all this and sometimes I have to stop and think , it would all be so much easier if my mum just went in a home, 24 hour round the clock care , problem solved .Then I think , well she's happy here in her home, she's familiar, there's all her things.
Personally , from my viewpoint , looking at my mum , I can't see her being safe at home. I think she's enjoying the whole care aspect, she is prompted at every important moment and someone is looking out for her welfare all the time. She must feel relieved .,
Imagine for just a moment not being able to remember yesterday,, nothing, but you don't know you've forgotten , because you're not aware that there is a problem, how do you fix what's not broken in your minds eye .We know all these things happen to our elderly dementia patients , but we still don't truly have a plan of action in place. There's no real plan to follow , were all just as confused about the dementia as the person is about the fuss made about them and their memory, not just any memory , but important stuff like time of day ,time to wash , time to eat , time to go to bed .
Why can't our government start listening to the real professionals , the people on the front line of care. Start building dementia villages , specially adapted places to give a better quality of life to this group of our society , instead of blaming them for all the problems facing the NHS. What an absolute disgrace our government is. Our MPs and heads of government .
We would rather cover up this lack of care and give it a new name like ,,persons choice or inviting the person to be involved in their journey. What a pile of useless shite...I think if we knocked on every household door in this Great Britain we would be horrified at the lack of care , funding , support and resources actually in place or needed to actually make a step forward. We might even discover millions of more people desperately standing behind these ordinary doors waiting on somebody actually discovering there plight.
There is an army of people out in the community , not all of them carers , all struggling away , with no help or funding , trying to keep loved ones safe or cared for .unpaid, Myself , I work part time, I know of other in my work place just as an example , who get no real support from employers . Juggling rosters and shift patterns , tired and neglected themselves now , plodding away .,Imagine if one day that small army just stopped , ground to a halt.
May bee its time to take a stand and force a change in the way people are supported and cared for. What do I know ....
I really do have my mums best interest at the heart of all this and sometimes I have to stop and think , it would all be so much easier if my mum just went in a home, 24 hour round the clock care , problem solved .Then I think , well she's happy here in her home, she's familiar, there's all her things.
Personally , from my viewpoint , looking at my mum , I can't see her being safe at home. I think she's enjoying the whole care aspect, she is prompted at every important moment and someone is looking out for her welfare all the time. She must feel relieved .,
Imagine for just a moment not being able to remember yesterday,, nothing, but you don't know you've forgotten , because you're not aware that there is a problem, how do you fix what's not broken in your minds eye .We know all these things happen to our elderly dementia patients , but we still don't truly have a plan of action in place. There's no real plan to follow , were all just as confused about the dementia as the person is about the fuss made about them and their memory, not just any memory , but important stuff like time of day ,time to wash , time to eat , time to go to bed .
Why can't our government start listening to the real professionals , the people on the front line of care. Start building dementia villages , specially adapted places to give a better quality of life to this group of our society , instead of blaming them for all the problems facing the NHS. What an absolute disgrace our government is. Our MPs and heads of government .
We would rather cover up this lack of care and give it a new name like ,,persons choice or inviting the person to be involved in their journey. What a pile of useless shite...I think if we knocked on every household door in this Great Britain we would be horrified at the lack of care , funding , support and resources actually in place or needed to actually make a step forward. We might even discover millions of more people desperately standing behind these ordinary doors waiting on somebody actually discovering there plight.
There is an army of people out in the community , not all of them carers , all struggling away , with no help or funding , trying to keep loved ones safe or cared for .unpaid, Myself , I work part time, I know of other in my work place just as an example , who get no real support from employers . Juggling rosters and shift patterns , tired and neglected themselves now , plodding away .,Imagine if one day that small army just stopped , ground to a halt.
May bee its time to take a stand and force a change in the way people are supported and cared for. What do I know ....
Tuesday, 30 January 2018
Dementia and my mum....Stressful times
My mums dementia is progressing quickly. Still hasn't been formally diagnosed , but its obvious. That's the thing about the elderly , everything takes so long to change or materialise with regards to their care.
My mum has been plodding along , I fetch the meals , I go on doing all the jobs like showering her , washings ,paying bills the lot. Don't get me wrong , my mum is coping well with the one call a day , but now needs more. She has had several falls and has even been out shopping on her own , us being unaware of this , mum can't even remember any of it.
I went to mums recently and did all the usual things for her, even took her out for lunch , had a dab time. Later that day mum became quite unwell. She was so unwell I had to call the Drs The Dr suggested we take mum to A&E. Once there it was obvious that we would be there a while ,,seven hours to be precise. Mum was admitted and was given a bed on the assessment unit ,mum has a bug , which one though.
Mum was dehydrated and had a urine infection , she was vomiting and had diarrhea . Mum was moved after a few days, five to be precise, to a royal Victoria at the western general . I have to say what a super fab place for the elderly , calm ,clean and spacious .Mums been there a couple of days now and she has since fallen and fractured her pubic bone, she has a whacking huge bruise on the side of her eye and to top it all I only found out last night by pure accident that my mum has a highly contagious bug , called campylobacter. The hospital didn't feel the need to inform us of this.. How bizarre , In fact the nurse said the Dr was a bit over the top . Suggesting we wash our clothes anyway everyday . Never mind the fact I work with the elderly and have a husband with a bowel and gut disease himself. Anyway , enough of all that , mums still in hospital, awaiting physiotherapy.
I have made it quite clear that if they send my mum home now she won't cope. Not a chance. Watch this space.......
My mum has been plodding along , I fetch the meals , I go on doing all the jobs like showering her , washings ,paying bills the lot. Don't get me wrong , my mum is coping well with the one call a day , but now needs more. She has had several falls and has even been out shopping on her own , us being unaware of this , mum can't even remember any of it.
I went to mums recently and did all the usual things for her, even took her out for lunch , had a dab time. Later that day mum became quite unwell. She was so unwell I had to call the Drs The Dr suggested we take mum to A&E. Once there it was obvious that we would be there a while ,,seven hours to be precise. Mum was admitted and was given a bed on the assessment unit ,mum has a bug , which one though.
Mum was dehydrated and had a urine infection , she was vomiting and had diarrhea . Mum was moved after a few days, five to be precise, to a royal Victoria at the western general . I have to say what a super fab place for the elderly , calm ,clean and spacious .Mums been there a couple of days now and she has since fallen and fractured her pubic bone, she has a whacking huge bruise on the side of her eye and to top it all I only found out last night by pure accident that my mum has a highly contagious bug , called campylobacter. The hospital didn't feel the need to inform us of this.. How bizarre , In fact the nurse said the Dr was a bit over the top . Suggesting we wash our clothes anyway everyday . Never mind the fact I work with the elderly and have a husband with a bowel and gut disease himself. Anyway , enough of all that , mums still in hospital, awaiting physiotherapy.
I have made it quite clear that if they send my mum home now she won't cope. Not a chance. Watch this space.......
Saturday, 6 January 2018
Who actually cares anyway......Dementia and my mum
Oh my life...what a journey. As off the 14th August my mum's life is unrecignisable . My sister has since passed away and my lovely mum hasn't been able to shed a tear or actually discuss her death , life . Not even really able to show emotion, asking almost daily if Sheila is alive or did she die ..
Mum can no longer leave the house alone as it is not safe for her to do so. She has to rely on the good will of the strangers she calls family , son's and daughters namely. I spend alot of my time sorting out mum's things , from tidying out the house to shopping , paying bills and the like . I know my mum has had a couple of falls and that she has been luck not to be harmed by this , but , it has just been that , luck.
Iv had to discuss all manner of topic with my mum. In order to prevent some future catastrophe taking place. Namely mum's death and home situation when they arise . Mum's agreed this should all be done in advance. She has no specific wishes or intentions towards any part of her demise or future care. She doesn't have any special requests or orders to partake to anyone . She has no special flower or tune. I am sure though some one will make that their duty to the detriment of all others..
Sunday, 5 November 2017
Failing system...dementia and my mum
Well then, my mum has had a letter from the NHS saying, there is a massive demand for the service she requires, therefore she will have to wait in the Que. I wonder if that's another Que as opposed to the Que for care.The one she's been waiting in for three months now , I'm loosing track of it all. Can't imagine how poor mums dealing with it all.
I do have to laugh at it all , I mean. , 90 and waiting for care. What are they waiting on , may bee they are hoping my mum will be dead before she gets it , saving them money .I suppose that's the thing about the elderly . The one thing they actually haven't got is time.
That's what I like about all these services, they are there , just not when you need them or there's no rush to get it for people. I have this awful thought that out there in the great casim of life there are thousands of old age pensioners shuffling around their houses and communities just getting by , staying alive by sheer luck really. Unwashed ,hungry , confused , cold , skint. Getting ripped off by strangers in the guise of shop keepers, catalogues ,family and cold callers either at the door or on the phone. And the poor buggers have to rely on family and strangers to keep their own independence .
I just hope all you people out there who haven't visited home for a while because your busy living don't forget that poor old soul called mum or dad , before you start feeling sorry for some stranger in a crap post on face book , who turns out to be a scam Amen ...lol
I do have to laugh at it all , I mean. , 90 and waiting for care. What are they waiting on , may bee they are hoping my mum will be dead before she gets it , saving them money .I suppose that's the thing about the elderly . The one thing they actually haven't got is time.
That's what I like about all these services, they are there , just not when you need them or there's no rush to get it for people. I have this awful thought that out there in the great casim of life there are thousands of old age pensioners shuffling around their houses and communities just getting by , staying alive by sheer luck really. Unwashed ,hungry , confused , cold , skint. Getting ripped off by strangers in the guise of shop keepers, catalogues ,family and cold callers either at the door or on the phone. And the poor buggers have to rely on family and strangers to keep their own independence .
I just hope all you people out there who haven't visited home for a while because your busy living don't forget that poor old soul called mum or dad , before you start feeling sorry for some stranger in a crap post on face book , who turns out to be a scam Amen ...lol
Wednesday, 1 November 2017
Family matters...dementia and my mum
I should not go any further until I explain that I now have power of attorney, jointly with my big sister , it made sense both of us doing this .we hope its in mums best interest, we have nothing to gain from it either . Our only objective is to give mum the freedom to say at home for as long as is possible.
She is my big sister by a year , she is level headed and were both opposites , this is good for my mum , my sister lives in another part of the country . Between us we manage . Apart from the hearing problems and the heart problems and the Dementia my mums pretty happy, shes a pleasure to help and she never complains or moans , my mum is a polite kind and friendly person overall. When my sister comes to town we have some time out on the bus, usually this is spent visiting my eldest sister in the hospice.
It would not be respectful at this time to go into detail about this matter ,so I will just move on for the time being. My sister and I thought maybe it was time for a new Drs appointment , to have mum reassessed , apparently the Dr thinks my mum seemed ok,,,she must be then, after all ten minutes at my parents home was enough time to decide this . Although on visiting my mum , she couldn't recall anyone visiting her,
It is not my Intention to demean or belittle any services my mum has come into contact with . After all I myself work in the caring profession myself , I know how difficult it can be to get things moving , but I also recognise poor work and a lack of caring , be it manner or attitude .
I almost get the sense that my mums only 90 , and they see older people maybe coping better or walking better , my mums never asked for anything in her entire life , shes not even asking for this , we are, is it so wrong of us to want to see our mum who only twelve weeks ago was Independent and coping just fine on her own , to want a little bit help for her when we maybe cant get the time off work or are sick ourselves ..
Theres people out their getting far more help than we are that are probably just more aware of their entitlements than we are , maybe even less polite and understanding than us.
She is my big sister by a year , she is level headed and were both opposites , this is good for my mum , my sister lives in another part of the country . Between us we manage . Apart from the hearing problems and the heart problems and the Dementia my mums pretty happy, shes a pleasure to help and she never complains or moans , my mum is a polite kind and friendly person overall. When my sister comes to town we have some time out on the bus, usually this is spent visiting my eldest sister in the hospice.
It would not be respectful at this time to go into detail about this matter ,so I will just move on for the time being. My sister and I thought maybe it was time for a new Drs appointment , to have mum reassessed , apparently the Dr thinks my mum seemed ok,,,she must be then, after all ten minutes at my parents home was enough time to decide this . Although on visiting my mum , she couldn't recall anyone visiting her,
It is not my Intention to demean or belittle any services my mum has come into contact with . After all I myself work in the caring profession myself , I know how difficult it can be to get things moving , but I also recognise poor work and a lack of caring , be it manner or attitude .
I almost get the sense that my mums only 90 , and they see older people maybe coping better or walking better , my mums never asked for anything in her entire life , shes not even asking for this , we are, is it so wrong of us to want to see our mum who only twelve weeks ago was Independent and coping just fine on her own , to want a little bit help for her when we maybe cant get the time off work or are sick ourselves ..
Theres people out their getting far more help than we are that are probably just more aware of their entitlements than we are , maybe even less polite and understanding than us.
Realisation...dementia and my mum
Well then, its been some time since I was last on here , yes , there's been alot of changes , and tears. My mum has since had a small TIA, small it might have been , but the impact was a game changer. I spent weeks at mums , encouraging and building her confidence up. She at one point looked feeble and sad , I couldn't believe this was the same person .
I started as I meant to go on. I meant business , no treating mum like a child , my mum had to regain her dignity ..What did surprise me was the fact that my family didn't actually care. I can say this now, I think I have earned that right . I can't even go into the minor details of this as there are so many of them , It would be justified to say that my brothers and sisters are utter selfish twats , who one day will need the love and support of there siblings. I hope it is forthcoming....
After frustration and sheer bloody mindedness was overcome my mum and I started to agree on several things. She needed some help , when I left of course , we put this to action. We had Intermediate care at the house , mum needed some physio therapy , she also needed an alarm system in case she was in trouble at home, she needed help with at least 1cooked meal a day, not so much because she couldn't attempt this herself. , but because of her Dementia, mum forgets things.
This all taught me a lot about my mum and the elderly in general, most importantly it taught me about the state of the health care system in this country . My mum had her TIA in August , she is still waiting on her one call a day and were into the 1st November , my mum now has a small heart problem which causes her to pass out without warning, but this makes no difference to my mums actual care what's so ever..I was told that Edinburgh is a large burgh and my mum will have to wait until .........................they have someone to come out, what......say that again....
Moving on from that any way,, the physio come and walk her outside 3 times a week,, well,, its now 2 times a week , mum joined a group locally where excersize and memory are the topic of the day, she also gets her lunch there, and they pick her up.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this but I don't live by mum, I live in a different town , Perthshire .My husband is very helpful and cares enough about me to want to help me sort this predicament with my mum. And , I have come to the decision that I don't want to live until a good old age, there absolutely sod all good about it. When I sit alone at home and think about all the old lonely people ,people who nobody gives an arse about It makes me angry and it makes me feel sick to my stomach ..........
I started as I meant to go on. I meant business , no treating mum like a child , my mum had to regain her dignity ..What did surprise me was the fact that my family didn't actually care. I can say this now, I think I have earned that right . I can't even go into the minor details of this as there are so many of them , It would be justified to say that my brothers and sisters are utter selfish twats , who one day will need the love and support of there siblings. I hope it is forthcoming....
After frustration and sheer bloody mindedness was overcome my mum and I started to agree on several things. She needed some help , when I left of course , we put this to action. We had Intermediate care at the house , mum needed some physio therapy , she also needed an alarm system in case she was in trouble at home, she needed help with at least 1cooked meal a day, not so much because she couldn't attempt this herself. , but because of her Dementia, mum forgets things.
This all taught me a lot about my mum and the elderly in general, most importantly it taught me about the state of the health care system in this country . My mum had her TIA in August , she is still waiting on her one call a day and were into the 1st November , my mum now has a small heart problem which causes her to pass out without warning, but this makes no difference to my mums actual care what's so ever..I was told that Edinburgh is a large burgh and my mum will have to wait until .........................they have someone to come out, what......say that again....
Moving on from that any way,, the physio come and walk her outside 3 times a week,, well,, its now 2 times a week , mum joined a group locally where excersize and memory are the topic of the day, she also gets her lunch there, and they pick her up.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this but I don't live by mum, I live in a different town , Perthshire .My husband is very helpful and cares enough about me to want to help me sort this predicament with my mum. And , I have come to the decision that I don't want to live until a good old age, there absolutely sod all good about it. When I sit alone at home and think about all the old lonely people ,people who nobody gives an arse about It makes me angry and it makes me feel sick to my stomach ..........
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