Well then, my mum has had a letter from the NHS saying, there is a massive demand for the service she requires, therefore she will have to wait in the Que. I wonder if that's another Que as opposed to the Que for care.The one she's been waiting in for three months now , I'm loosing track of it all. Can't imagine how poor mums dealing with it all.
I do have to laugh at it all , I mean. , 90 and waiting for care. What are they waiting on , may bee they are hoping my mum will be dead before she gets it , saving them money .I suppose that's the thing about the elderly . The one thing they actually haven't got is time.
That's what I like about all these services, they are there , just not when you need them or there's no rush to get it for people. I have this awful thought that out there in the great casim of life there are thousands of old age pensioners shuffling around their houses and communities just getting by , staying alive by sheer luck really. Unwashed ,hungry , confused , cold , skint. Getting ripped off by strangers in the guise of shop keepers, catalogues ,family and cold callers either at the door or on the phone. And the poor buggers have to rely on family and strangers to keep their own independence .
I just hope all you people out there who haven't visited home for a while because your busy living don't forget that poor old soul called mum or dad , before you start feeling sorry for some stranger in a crap post on face book , who turns out to be a scam Amen ...lol
Sunday, 5 November 2017
Wednesday, 1 November 2017
Family matters...dementia and my mum
I should not go any further until I explain that I now have power of attorney, jointly with my big sister , it made sense both of us doing this .we hope its in mums best interest, we have nothing to gain from it either . Our only objective is to give mum the freedom to say at home for as long as is possible.
She is my big sister by a year , she is level headed and were both opposites , this is good for my mum , my sister lives in another part of the country . Between us we manage . Apart from the hearing problems and the heart problems and the Dementia my mums pretty happy, shes a pleasure to help and she never complains or moans , my mum is a polite kind and friendly person overall. When my sister comes to town we have some time out on the bus, usually this is spent visiting my eldest sister in the hospice.
It would not be respectful at this time to go into detail about this matter ,so I will just move on for the time being. My sister and I thought maybe it was time for a new Drs appointment , to have mum reassessed , apparently the Dr thinks my mum seemed ok,,,she must be then, after all ten minutes at my parents home was enough time to decide this . Although on visiting my mum , she couldn't recall anyone visiting her,
It is not my Intention to demean or belittle any services my mum has come into contact with . After all I myself work in the caring profession myself , I know how difficult it can be to get things moving , but I also recognise poor work and a lack of caring , be it manner or attitude .
I almost get the sense that my mums only 90 , and they see older people maybe coping better or walking better , my mums never asked for anything in her entire life , shes not even asking for this , we are, is it so wrong of us to want to see our mum who only twelve weeks ago was Independent and coping just fine on her own , to want a little bit help for her when we maybe cant get the time off work or are sick ourselves ..
Theres people out their getting far more help than we are that are probably just more aware of their entitlements than we are , maybe even less polite and understanding than us.
She is my big sister by a year , she is level headed and were both opposites , this is good for my mum , my sister lives in another part of the country . Between us we manage . Apart from the hearing problems and the heart problems and the Dementia my mums pretty happy, shes a pleasure to help and she never complains or moans , my mum is a polite kind and friendly person overall. When my sister comes to town we have some time out on the bus, usually this is spent visiting my eldest sister in the hospice.
It would not be respectful at this time to go into detail about this matter ,so I will just move on for the time being. My sister and I thought maybe it was time for a new Drs appointment , to have mum reassessed , apparently the Dr thinks my mum seemed ok,,,she must be then, after all ten minutes at my parents home was enough time to decide this . Although on visiting my mum , she couldn't recall anyone visiting her,
It is not my Intention to demean or belittle any services my mum has come into contact with . After all I myself work in the caring profession myself , I know how difficult it can be to get things moving , but I also recognise poor work and a lack of caring , be it manner or attitude .
I almost get the sense that my mums only 90 , and they see older people maybe coping better or walking better , my mums never asked for anything in her entire life , shes not even asking for this , we are, is it so wrong of us to want to see our mum who only twelve weeks ago was Independent and coping just fine on her own , to want a little bit help for her when we maybe cant get the time off work or are sick ourselves ..
Theres people out their getting far more help than we are that are probably just more aware of their entitlements than we are , maybe even less polite and understanding than us.
Realisation...dementia and my mum
Well then, its been some time since I was last on here , yes , there's been alot of changes , and tears. My mum has since had a small TIA, small it might have been , but the impact was a game changer. I spent weeks at mums , encouraging and building her confidence up. She at one point looked feeble and sad , I couldn't believe this was the same person .
I started as I meant to go on. I meant business , no treating mum like a child , my mum had to regain her dignity ..What did surprise me was the fact that my family didn't actually care. I can say this now, I think I have earned that right . I can't even go into the minor details of this as there are so many of them , It would be justified to say that my brothers and sisters are utter selfish twats , who one day will need the love and support of there siblings. I hope it is forthcoming....
After frustration and sheer bloody mindedness was overcome my mum and I started to agree on several things. She needed some help , when I left of course , we put this to action. We had Intermediate care at the house , mum needed some physio therapy , she also needed an alarm system in case she was in trouble at home, she needed help with at least 1cooked meal a day, not so much because she couldn't attempt this herself. , but because of her Dementia, mum forgets things.
This all taught me a lot about my mum and the elderly in general, most importantly it taught me about the state of the health care system in this country . My mum had her TIA in August , she is still waiting on her one call a day and were into the 1st November , my mum now has a small heart problem which causes her to pass out without warning, but this makes no difference to my mums actual care what's so ever..I was told that Edinburgh is a large burgh and my mum will have to wait until .........................they have someone to come out, what......say that again....
Moving on from that any way,, the physio come and walk her outside 3 times a week,, well,, its now 2 times a week , mum joined a group locally where excersize and memory are the topic of the day, she also gets her lunch there, and they pick her up.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this but I don't live by mum, I live in a different town , Perthshire .My husband is very helpful and cares enough about me to want to help me sort this predicament with my mum. And , I have come to the decision that I don't want to live until a good old age, there absolutely sod all good about it. When I sit alone at home and think about all the old lonely people ,people who nobody gives an arse about It makes me angry and it makes me feel sick to my stomach ..........
I started as I meant to go on. I meant business , no treating mum like a child , my mum had to regain her dignity ..What did surprise me was the fact that my family didn't actually care. I can say this now, I think I have earned that right . I can't even go into the minor details of this as there are so many of them , It would be justified to say that my brothers and sisters are utter selfish twats , who one day will need the love and support of there siblings. I hope it is forthcoming....
After frustration and sheer bloody mindedness was overcome my mum and I started to agree on several things. She needed some help , when I left of course , we put this to action. We had Intermediate care at the house , mum needed some physio therapy , she also needed an alarm system in case she was in trouble at home, she needed help with at least 1cooked meal a day, not so much because she couldn't attempt this herself. , but because of her Dementia, mum forgets things.
This all taught me a lot about my mum and the elderly in general, most importantly it taught me about the state of the health care system in this country . My mum had her TIA in August , she is still waiting on her one call a day and were into the 1st November , my mum now has a small heart problem which causes her to pass out without warning, but this makes no difference to my mums actual care what's so ever..I was told that Edinburgh is a large burgh and my mum will have to wait until .........................they have someone to come out, what......say that again....
Moving on from that any way,, the physio come and walk her outside 3 times a week,, well,, its now 2 times a week , mum joined a group locally where excersize and memory are the topic of the day, she also gets her lunch there, and they pick her up.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this but I don't live by mum, I live in a different town , Perthshire .My husband is very helpful and cares enough about me to want to help me sort this predicament with my mum. And , I have come to the decision that I don't want to live until a good old age, there absolutely sod all good about it. When I sit alone at home and think about all the old lonely people ,people who nobody gives an arse about It makes me angry and it makes me feel sick to my stomach ..........
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